Object of Love


Men can very easily transfer their love from one woman to another.

They seldom grief long when their partner dies, goes away or is otherwise unavailable. They love what women are doing or providing for them. They love  women, because they feel women love them and they love them back for it.

Some people might think this kind of love is shallow. But it is not. It is not the person they love but the giver of love they love. This love can be enduring  –  till death do us part –   but it also has survival value, because it is easily transferable.

Men’s love is more a loyalty program. A lot of women died during childbirth and men must have had the ability to find a new partner quickly to look after their earlier brood. If the man was able to love his new wife and his new wife felt that love and was able to reciprocate  then they could live happily ever after.


17 thoughts on “Object of Love

  1. Yes, but I have no experience of that. I am not sure I would love another woman again.
    I doubt I would find another one as good as the present one. Still, it is food for thought. Thanks Berlioz.

    • Thanks Gerard for commenting. That is what it was meant to be, “food for thought”. Perhaps your and mine situations are totally different. Nowadays people remarry multiple times. In olden days I remember J.S. Bach marrying twice and having twelve children with each wife. He loved them both very much. The ability to fall in love again is not always called upon.

  2. I have no experience with this either. And this has nothing to do with me being a woman. It is because the man in my life stayed with me since I turned 21 and I am 79 now! 🙂
    It was different with my sister-in-law, the one who became a widow in her early sixties. She very much grieved for her husband, for several years actually. But then came the time when she had the feeling she would very much like to have a male companion again. She met a man who was more than ten years younger. But they are still together now, and she’s going to turn 80 this year just a few months before I turn 80.

  3. very true words. there are rare men who love only one woman in life… well, Indian literary world was ruled by men, so this aspect has been discussed by them again and again 🙂

    why men fall in love again and again, sometimes more than one at a time.

  4. My great-grandfather certainly would have agreed with you. However, broken-heart syndrome is real, and when one partner dies, the other soon follows, so close is the bond.

    • Thank you for commenting, Robert. My proposition was not meant to be a generalisation for all men at all times. Especially the elderly, and I count myself among them, will have difficulties when their beloved partner passes away. And you are absolutely right that “the other soon follows, so close is the bond”. But, I think it partly proofs the point. The older we get the more likely we will not fall in love again.

      I was not talking about philandering men, but men who want a monogamous relationship. The quicker they find a “new love” the easier it is to overcome their grief. I think nature has given us that ability. Sure, some of us can’t wait for the wife to depart and they are looking for someone else long before it happens. But this is not love.

    • Oh dear, Sharmishta, I’m right awake. Don’t forget I’m a lazy old man. Plus, I’m a news junky. So much is going on in the world. I discovered, too, that you have a holiday coming up: Holi. I wish you a Happy Holiday.

      I seem to remember you and your friends were writing about the lovely food Indians are preparing for the festivals.

      Here is the link to what I read:


  5. ah! holi is not that much celebrated in Bengal, the place where i grew up, in Uttar Pradesh, Holi is a gala affair.

    I will write a late post for that… 🙂

  6. Yes, that is very true. somehow relationships here in the U.S.A. seem to fall by the wayside when the males & females all seem to lose interest in the kind of love shown to them. That to me is so sad too. Does it mean neither care how to feel in a relationship? Do arguments get to be so bad that neither want anything from the other anymore? Thanks for listening & taking the time to help me to learn about life when secluded in a shell as I was growing up.

    • Thanks for commenting, Rodney. Love and relationships are treated differently in different cultures. Our environment shapes attitudes.

      “Love” is like a flower, and an exotic one at that. The flower can blossom in a burst of colours and smells. It can blossom for a long or a short time. Sometimes with some help from us the time of flowering can be extended.

      But if we don’t take the time to cultivate the flower or look for other flowers our flower (our love) will wilt. We can’t demand anything from the flower. We can only give and try to prolong the time of flowering.

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