We have a pet fly. Perhaps I did not express myself properly.
What I meant was, we have a fly living with us and who, for unknown reasons, has adopted us as her pets.
She follows us everywhere. But I have the feeling she is more attached to me than to my wife.
At first she appeared at our dinner table. Every time food was put on the table there was a buzz in the air. This, no doubt, comes naturally to a fly. I tried to catch her many times and I thought I did so. I felt her in my closed hand. On opening my hand to release her outside, I could not see her. On walking inside, I saw her flying directly into my face to welcome me back.
After the meals and doing the dishes, she would be flying happily around my head assured I could not harm her with my hands in the water. Honestly, I do not want any of her caresses. She is a nuisance.
When I carry out the rubbish she follows me too. She flies around my head and shows off her acrobatic tricks. She never flies too far away afraid I could sneak inside without her. I can tell you, she is a smart cookie. As soon as I turn to walk back in, she settles down on my back.
Once inside she flies ahead, makes somersaults in the air and would laugh her multi-eyed head off if she could.
After the evening meal and doing the dishes we usually settle down in front of the TV to watch the unfolding horror of the daily news. At first I can hear her buzzing around my head. Then she flies in front of the TV set as if to shout, “Here I am. I’m here!”
When the Minister for Immigration comes on to announce, to my displeasure, that his Borderforce has stopped another boat loaded with desperate asylum seekers, our fly delights me by trying to crawl into the minister’s nose. Of course, she gets frustrated and instead attacks my ear.
Today we did go by train to Sydney. We were hoping to get some relief from our fly. You won’t believe this when we entered the train carriage she was already sitting on the windowsill looking at us expectantly with her beady eyes.
I was hoping to take a picture of her. But she did not settle down long enough for me to do this. By refusing to be photographed, she wanted to show the whole world how paranoid I am. I have no proof!
Once in Sydney I expected her to get lost. The smells of so many people would surely confuse her as she is just an innocent little house fly from the country.
It seemed to work and we were not bothered by her while in the city.
But as soon as we stepped onto the train for the return journey there she was again. She was flying happily around our heads indicating that she was pleased to have found us again.
“Alright,” I said, “let’s go home together.”